Lifa's Heaven

Finally, my holidays are here. I can now kickback, relax and catch up on all of my lovely reading and finally look into buying an e-reader!!!!

AFTER A 12 HR NIGHT SHIFT!!!! HAVING TO WRITE A 2500 ESSAY ON SUSTAINABILITY IS JUST UGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Am discovering the wonderful world of ebooks, normally i would not read them as i enjoy holding the books in my hand and flicking through the pages which is kinda hard with the computer. You sort off miss the sound of the pages turning and everything LOL!!! Nevertheless, am managing to cope and the beauty of ebooks is that i have been able to find books not being sold in the local bookshops or library so am very excited about this.

I wake up everyday, look at myself in the mirror and i hate what my body has become. A disgusting mass of over hanging flesh, i want to take a knife and cut it all off. It makes me sick.

Am so fuming mad, ARRGGHHH!!! Stupid OPSM have this nifty thing on their website whereby u can go and book an appointment online and then wait for the store u have selected to call you and confirm ur appointment. So after doing that and waiting for several days with no call back, i get on the phone and call the store i had booked my eye test to be done and LO and behold. They had never heard of me nor recieved any appointment request. I explained to the girl on the phone  how i had gone about booking the appointment and she had NO CLUE !!!! that one could actually book an appointment ONLINE!!! on THEIR COMPANIES WEBSITE!!!!! Arrrgghhhhh!!! she then self-rightously points out that i should have called the store and i angrily replied i would have but it was after hours and having visited their website i was given the option of either calling them or booking the appointment online. And if people cannot book appointments online then they should stop providing the service  and mis-directing people!!

So miss " I AM SO CLUELESS"!!! apologises for her mistake then goes about booking my appointment. FINALLY!!! .... ME SO GRUMPY IN THE MORNING WHEN FACED WITH STUPIDITY!!!

Real life sucks sometimes, work is getting more hectic and uni is becoming mind-blowingly exhausting. Just when i have rediscovered my inner bookworm its back to assingments assingments assingments. Can't believe am actually back doing a post-graduate after swearing off Uni and all its assingment evils *sob*

So am starting night shifts which is the best thing ever. A friend of mine wants to do the lemon detox diet too but wants to see the results first hand before she gives it a go. I have had to take a break from the diet due to lots of social commitments which i could not get out off this past week and end of sept. But now with the night shifts, my social life shall be flushed down the drain and i can start the diet with a clean slate and well focused. Weight wise i only lost like two pounds which sucked major but the my waistline went down which was fun to see so i got myself some skinny jeans which am now in love with cause they make my legs look like whoah!!! HEHEHEHEHE!!!

So yeh, looking forward to start the diet again, i loved being in it and boy did i save money on grocery shopping hehehehehe!!!

So today i decided to do a full fast with a mate of mine and only have my diet drink at night and well things did not work out so well, by the time 6pm rocked around i was so weak i could not move out my bed, i was shaking, nauseous, and getting hot and cold flushes. I quickly had the drink because i assumed my blood sugar must have hit rock bottom and a nibble of a krispy kreme donought and boy did i regret it. The minute i finished chewing quarter of the donought i threw up everything juice included. I felt like i wanted to crawl out of my skin and my stomach would not stop rebelling. So i headed outside with a bottle of hot water to drink and sat out in the fresh cold air for an hour and my tummy finally settled but by then my family had picked up on the fact i was not doing so well. So off they headed to the nearest fast food joint and grabbed some fries with chicken and sat down to supervise me eat them. It was utter torture, my stomach feels like its being filled with a soccer ball, my diet is fucked, and i just feel full, bloated and completely disgusted with my body *sob*. So i've drank nearly 1 litre of the senna tea and hopefully that will get all the rubbish outta my tummy and tomorrow am definitely having the salt drink. Fuck am pissed off, my traitorous body really let me down today but i have learnt a harsh lesson, a full fast with no food but just the drink is a big no no for me. But disappointed or not i shall find a way around this cause there is no way am letting this stupid fat body let me down, i have come way to far for that to happen *goes back to plotting*

So since am giving the scales a skip at least until am at Day 10 after getting different weighing results at work. The scales at work said i had put on 4 kilos, at home my scales said i was 55kg= 121lbs and the work ones said i was 59.6= 131.1lbs what harsh critics those scales are but i am going to go with them instead of the ones i have at home because honestly i did feel over-weight even before i started this diet and when i first stepped on the scales i expected them to tell me i was like 60kgs= 132lbs so i was a bit surprised when they told me i was 55kgs. The work scales are also digital ones and my home one is a ticker one so i don't know whether its just the different types of scales that either add or deduct weight off you.

No worries though since as i mentioned above i am going to give them a skip, instead i decided to do measurements today and here are all my stats again and i shall use this to keep track of my weight loss.

Pants size currently: Size 12
Goal pants size: Size 8


Stomach:38cm

Thighs:24cm

Highest Weight:60kgs=132lbs

Current Weight:59.6kgs= 131.1lbs

Goal Weight:45kgs=99lbs

Dream weight:40kgs=88lbs


Well i still have a long way to go but am taking everything one step at a time.

OMG!!! i have actually reached the three day mark of my diet how cool is that squeeeeee!! i didn't think i would last even one day seeing that at work there is temptation everywhere!!! We just had a farewell party for a fellow work mate and the place is riddled with chocolates, cookies, cakes, candy, soft-drinks, crisps.... and the list goes on. Its horrible, everywhere i turn, i see people stuffing their faces with these wonderful delights *sob*!! but i have stayed strong and well here i am on day three and wohooooo!!!! the pounds haven't started dropping off yet so am a bit nervous about whether it will eventually happen!!!

Falling off the band-wagon sucks, but am back again to give this whole weight loss thing a go again with another diet which has some fasting in it. Am not going to talk about it until i actually see some results. I had promised myself if i ever lost the weight i would post my pics here and i am planning to keep that promise this time. I am sick of being the fat friend in a group of thin girls, its depressing, sickening, frustrating and the list goes on. So tomorrow i start my day one of the diet and apparently it gets easier after day three so here's to you kid, i hope i do well!!

My starting weight is: 55kgs= 121lbs
My goal weight is: 45kgs= 99lbs
My dream weight is: 40kgs= 88lbs


My aim is to get rid of my disgusting stomach and hopefully my boobs will also reduce.

Haven't been updating lately because i've been doing more xtra and double xtra shifts at work to save for an around the world ticket. Still can't make up my mind where to go though, it seems i have relatives and friends in most of the countries around the world except the North-pole. I wonder though does Santa Claus count as a friend to visit LOL!! Fuel prices are a nightmare, so am really truly considering ditching the car but the last time i rode a bike was..... *blink* *blinK*..... hmmmmm.... maybe sticking the car would be more safer.

Finally weighed myself today and here are the results:

Previous weight: 129lbs (59kgs)
Current weight: 128.5lbs (58.4kgs)
Goal weight: 110lbs (50kgs)
Dream weight: 99lbs (45kgs)

I haven't lost much i know *sniff*, but am slowly working my way. Tomorrow will be week 2 of my diet, i've been very bad this week due to easter( CHOCOLATES), its why am loosing so slowly *slaps self* i was doing so well before *sob*

Ohhhh!!!!! the curse of EASTER!!!! i've been tripping over easter eggs left/ right and center at work. Those evil chocolates are occupying every free surface at work *SOB*. This is soooooo!!! unfair!!!! tempation, temptation, temptation!!!!

Day 5 and am so proud of myself, the longest i have managed to keep with a diet. Its all going good, the waist- line is shrinking though am still not brave enough to weigh myself. Thus, i shall leave that for another week or two. At least by then u are able to assess the results properly. Am now drinking over 1litres of water a day. To manage that i bought one of those large 1.6litres bottles which i fill with water everyday and my goal each day is to finish the whole bottle by the end of the day at least. I have one 200mls cup of tea, juice, plus another 400-800mls of water and really by the end of the night i usually have consumed over 2Litres of fluid. Which of course has lead to alot of trips to the loo, annoying i know but its good for my body.

Ok day two of me lovely diet!!! and *sigh*, i cheated am ashamed to admit. I had a slice of mu usual brown bread filled with oats and grains... all good....but then i added some *gasp* 8 POTATO CHIPS!!! and 4 drops of KETCHUP!! WAAAHHHH!!!!!!!! *hangs head in shame*

Work as always remains a nightmare but am slowly plowing my way through. Am starting a new diet again and hopefully this one will help me finally shake loose this extra pounds. Am blaming the change in the migraine drugs for the extra weight which my doctor had helpfully forgotten to mention the drugs would do, but i also agree am partly to blame for being so complacent and not actively keeping an eye on the weight which has slowly crept back in. Here are the current stats:

CW:129.8lbs (59kg)
GW:110lbs (50kg)

For now i slowly just want to loose the weight instead of dropping down to fast due to the risk of the migraines becoming uncontrollable again. Am slowly learning the triggers and really trying to avoid another trip to A&E. Am really not looking forward to another rpt of "lets cannulate the migraine pt who at the moment is in soo much agony even a fly landing on her makes her spasm in pain" *grin*.

So my meal replacement starts tomorrow and hopefully fingers crossed everything will work out OK!!!!!

hmmm.... not doing much, just watching some iron chef yuuummmmm

Am really meant to be doing my tax staff but one peek in

Found this floating around in my comp.. LOL!!

Title: My Heart
Author:lifa
Pairings: A/L maybe more will see....
Warning: R to Nc-17
Summary: Aragorns and Legolas relationship * i suck at summaries* but
for now this is just their thoughts of each other.
Disclaimer: If only they were mine but sadly enough they are not
Feedback: Oh yes PLEASE!!!!!!
Authors Note: This is my FIRST FIC!!!!!! so please be kind to me, i
have not had it betaed cause i currently have no one to go through it
for me *working on that* Oh and this ` ` means they are talking
mentally. Also the elvish is both Sindarin and Quenya, i have tried
my best with the translations.

Somewhere in the wild


Estel

His eyes i think were the first things that attracted me to him, a
deep blue like a cloudless laire (summer) sky. Always changing with
his moods, elves always pride themselves on the constraints they have
on their emotions always calm whether they were in fear or anger. And
Legolas is no exception, but it is his eyes which through all the
years i have come to know him that have always given what he is
feeling away. When in anger they would turn an astonishing emerald
green and woe to any his gaze befell upon. And when his heart is
light his eyes remain the deep blue that they are. But it is when in
passion that i lately realised i liked his eyes best for they turn a
dark purple color, which always manages to leave me breathless, and
quivering everytime i gaze upon them.

I look at him now lying in my arms with his eyes closed, yes closed
an unheard of thing amongst elves and only done by my peredhil
family.You see elves only close their eyes in times when their bodies
have suffered too much exhaustion or trauma both physical and mental
or when they are dead But after spending so much time with me and my
family this practice was one of the many he picked up from us. But
only when both his mind or body were at complete rest did Legolas
close his eyes, for though i have no qualms with him sleeping with
his eyes closed it still scares me everytime i open my eyes to find
him thus and so rarely does he do it.

"Estel pusta (stop)" Legolas soft musical voice drags me out of my
musings, I look at my beloved now wide awake with a sleepy smile upon
his face. "Stop what mela en coiamin (love of my life)", I enquire
teasingly "Stop brooding and go to sleep we have a long day
tomorrow,and i do not fancy hunting yrch ( orcs) with a half-asleep
human watching my back" Legolas replies jokingly in a serious tone as
he moves further into my embrace and lies on top of me sliding his
already hard elfhood onto my flaccid member which quickly reawakens
to life. The contact immediatly robs me of any words that were about
to come out of my mouth instead i groan softly burying my face in his
golden mane while at the same time tightning my arms which i had
wrapped around his slender waist.

"Estel" Legolas chuckles "you are insatiable", and he raises his head
and looks into my eyes while slowly traceing a slender finger down my
face. His eyes bore into mine expressing all the love he feels for
me,words not necessary between us and in my mind i feel a gentle
touch as Legolas requests entry. Calming my breath i open the gates
to my mind and his thoughts flow through me passion, desire,love. I
could not tell whose thoughts were whose as our minds linked and then
i hear his voice `Amin mella lle Elen nin`(i love you my star), `Amin
mella lle Lass nin` ( i love you my leaf) i reply as i gather him
into my arms and our lips descend down to each other and engage in a
dance as old as time. And i am lost.

tbc.